Mother Talkers

More on the Four-Day Work Week

Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 11:05:01 AM PDT

A community college in Florida is reporting success with its new four-day work week.

Due to energy savings by lowering the air conditioner during the week and shutting down the school on Fridays, Brevard Community College in Cocoa, Florida, was able to hire 10 full-time faculty members with the money, according to CNN.

A year ago, as energy costs headed up and the school faced cuts in state funding, college President James Drake, who drives a hybrid, decided to give the shortened workweek a try.

It worked out better than anyone could have imagined, Drake says.

"If it weren't for the savings that we have netted from energy management and the four-day workweek, we would not have been able to do several of the vital things that are going to help us attract and retain even more students," Drake said.

Brevard Community College began the four-day workweek during the 2007 summer session. The following fall and spring, it added a half-day but then went back to the four-day work week again this summer.

Over that year-long period, by closing on Fridays and turning down the air conditioning and heating systems, the college saved $267,000 in energy costs. The savings allowed Brevard to hire 10 full-time faculty members with the money.

The students at the school -- one who was a single mom -- also expressed enthusiasm for the shortened work week because they have saved transportation and childcare costs. But due to the longer work days, the school is letting staff with children leave early or arrive late because finding extended childcare is a problem. Employer flexibility is key to this arrangement.

Still, two other unexpected pluses from the four-day work week: Staff turnover was stymied and worker absenteeism almost non-existent. Employers take note.

Thursday Open Thread

Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:58:22 AM PDT

What's up with our fellow beings in the blogosphere?

See the photo on the right? It's the picture of size 4 girl underwear that reads "Dive in!" Not surprisingly, the panties, which were marketed by Disney, have created quite a stir in England, according to Strollerderby.

Speaking of girl clothes, there is a recall of "Sun Smarties Board" skirts due to -- lead paint, according to ParentDish. WTF? Also in ParentDish: Remember the Gloucester, Massachusetts, principal who opined that the pregnancy boom in his school was due to a pact among the girls? He resigned due to pressure by the town's mayor.  

Kay over at the Workin' Mom blog had a funny excerpt from the book, The Official Guide to Dysfunctional Parenting.

Wondertime covered one family's experience with hypnosis during childbirth. Did any of you use this method to avoid pain medication? What's the verdict?

Our GiGi lays out the facts on whether abortion causes mental illness in her blog One Lazy Liberal.

Via OC Moms blog: A doctor doles out advice on what to do about ear pain from swimming.

Via ParentDish: Check out the adorable Ok cover of Britney Spears with her sons.

More On Our Broken Healthcare System

Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 02:23:06 PM PDT

Here is yet another anecdote about our broken healthcare system. My father's company is asking all workers to take a blood test for cholesterol, prostate cancer and other illnesses. If the employees are not healthy, the company plans to force them on a diet or raise their health insurance rates by $1,500.

"Is that even legal?" I asked him.

"That's what people at work asked," he said.

As it turns out, it is illegal to ask a job applicant for medical information prior to making a job offer, according to an article in USA Today. But there was nothing in my quick and dirty google search to suggest that companies cannot test their employees and re-evaluate medical coverage. What slime balls.

Telemarketers Who Prey on the Elderly Part II

Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 11:52:15 AM PDT

Last week, I wrote about a daughter who was concerned that telemarketers were preying on her elderly mother, getting her to buy things she didn't need. Well, the responses from the Berkeley Parents Network newsletter have started to trickle in and there are some great suggestions:

I am a care manager for older adults (clients mostly in Marin). A few things come to mind. First, it sounds like your mom may be using the telemarketers as part of her social structure. I would look at programs and events (lectures) that would get her engaged. Second, can you change her phone number and get her bills forwarded to you? At the very least I would screen her mail if at all possible. Get your name on all of her accounts. Can you also get on the title of her house? That would slow people down. When is the last time she went to her doctor? Has she been diagnosed with memory loss? Does she listen to her doctor? Can you get him/her to help? I would be happy to brainstorm with you (no charge of course). You are not alone and there are a lot of creative ways to help. Helping in these situations exactly why I picked this job!
patty robertson

This letter hit too close to home. As I have been at my parents' and grandmother's home in New Hampshire since Saturday, I have gotten a little taste of what it is like to live with someone that has Alzheimer's disease (my grandmother). We were tooling around town and I was bewildered when she told me that my mother purchased a P.O. Box to intercept her mail. She accused my mom of keeping letters and checks from her.

When I asked my mom about it, she said that my grandmother had been hiding their mail, including bills that needed to be paid. Per the doctor's orders, they got her the P.O. Box so she wouldn't check it.

Last night after my poor tired mom had gone to bed and me, my dad and the kids were watching TV, my grandmother stormed downstairs to their part of the house and demanded to know why my father sold her home in Pennsylvania. She then cornered me: "I need a lawyer to straighten this out! Tomorrow I need you to take me to the bank to make sure the money (my grandfather) left me is still there."

My father was calmly watching TV and I had no idea how to react. "Okay," I told her.

I was freaked out by this scene. After she left, I asked my dad if he had ever shown her a bank statement or taken her to the bank. "Of course I have!" the frustration pouring out of him. "She forgets right after I take her!"

The doctor has told them that this paranoia is not uncommon among patients suffering from memory loss. He has told them to ignore her when she experiences these episodes. "It's the disease talking, not her," he explained. What a terrible disease.

What Did You Do With Your Baby's Placenta?

Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 09:00:07 AM PDT

Actor Matthew McConaughey, who had a son last month, plans to bury the boy's placenta, according to the blog ParentDish.

It's going to be in the orchards," he told CNN's Dr. Sanjay Gupta, "And it's going to bear some wonderful fruit." The new dad apparently got the idea from a trip to Australia, where he met a tribe who had a placenta tree where all new babies' placentas are buried.

Honestly, I don't care what people do with their children's placentas. But don't Matt and Levi's mom, Camila Alves live in a motorhome? Where do they keep that thing -- next to the frozen breastmilk in the freezer? I can't be sure, but I'm guessing sharing a home and parenthood with Matthew means never having a dull moment.

For sure. While the placentas that came with my children stayed at the hospital, I have heard of a lot of traditions around the placenta, including burying it. A former Native American co-worker once told me that her tradition actually cooks the placenta and eats it since it is so full of nutrition for the mother. "I didn't eat mine though," she quickly added, after seeing the horrified look on my face.

Did any of you do anything with your children's placentas? How about other postpartum rituals?

Hump Day Open Thread

Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 06:00:25 AM PDT

What's up with our fellow beings in the blogosphere?

I just signed up for Sen. Barack Obama's text alert for when he chooses a vice presidential nominee. I was fried on politics after the drawn-out primary, but I am starting to get excited about the Democratic National Convention at the end of the month. I enjoy watching the speeches -- plus I really, really want to know who gets the veep nod!

The Anti-Racist Parent linked to an article by a Korean adoptee on Harlow's Monkey who candidly discussed her experiences being raised by a white American family. Despite the openness of parents who adopt children of another race, the author says there is still discomfort in discussing racism.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are expecting their second child this winter, according to Celebrity Baby Blog.

Can Charlie Sheen be a bigger dick? Unlike his ex-wife Denise Richards, he does not want his kids vaccinated. To get back at the pediatrician, he recently paid a $380 bill -- in nickels, according to ParentDish. I loved the headline of the accompanying TMZ article: "Charlie to Dr. -- I'll Nickel You to Death!"

Chicago Teacher Man over at his new A.M. in India blog compared teaching at his boarding school to his former stint as an inner city high school teacher. The biggest difference? The kids at the boarding school actually respect their teachers.

Via Eat. Drink. Better.: President Bush has proposed cuts to the 2009 farm bill that would encourage people to eat locally, according to the American Farmland Trust.

Feministing's Miriam discussed the Post Tramautic Stress Disorder (PTSD) found in women who have experienced a complicated labor and delivery. Also in Feministing: Lin Miaoke, the little girl who performed at the China Olympics ceremony with a rendition of "Ode to the Motherland," lip-synced the actual song. Chinese authorities suggested the real singer of the song, Yang Peiyi, was not pretty enough to appear on stage. Truly disgusting.

Dana over at Mombian reviewed three documentaries about the children of gay parents.

Doula Emmanuelle Goodier wrote about outsmarting her 4.5-year-old daughter when it comes to consuming items like Bratz dolls in Mothering magazine.

Lost Opportunities to Discuss Contraceptives

Tue Aug 12, 2008 at 02:34:10 PM PDT

Newsweek covered the teen pregnancy boom Hollywood style.

From Jamie Lynn Spears's pregnancy to the blockbuster Juno to the reality show Baby Borrowers, teen pregnancy has become en vogue yet nowhere is Hollywood mentioning the "three C's," according to one media analyst. "There's little commitment, no mention of contraception and rarely do we see negative consequences," says Jane Brown, a journalism professor at the University of North Carolina who runs the Teen Media Project. "What's missing in the media's sexual script is what happens before and after. Why are these kids getting pregnant and what happens afterward?"

Normally, I would roll my eyes and dismiss these stories as nothing more than sensationalism. After all, who the heck wants a baby as a teenager? But as I have covered here before, teen pregnancy rates and sexually transmitted diseases are up. Part of the trend is due to a slow economy and teen girls feeling like they have no other career options to parenthood.

But as the Newsweek article pointed out, Hollywood seems to treat condom use as some dirty secret. It's just not mentioned in the context of teen pregnancy.

To recap, the reality that's not covered: teens are having sex (the average age of first intercourse is 16.9 for boys and 17.4 for girls, according to the Alan Guttmacher Institute) and some are getting pregnant (almost 750,000 each year, also from Guttmacher). One third of those women will have an abortion; two thirds will carry their baby to term. Teen moms are less likely to finish high school and more likely to remain a single parent, according to the Centers for Disease Control. Teens are also contracting sexually transmitted diseases in alarmingly high numbers--a quarter of teenage females have at least one.

"Juno" and "Secret Life" and other movies and TV shows like them could open doors to all of those issues. And research suggests that is actually what teens want: three quarters say they would like the media to talk more about the consequences of sex, according to a 2007 study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

But these topics can be risky for Hollywood producers and purveyors of celebrity magazines. Producers and writers may want to avoid the political controversy over abstinence education. There's also the entertainment value at stake--lectures on condoms don't exactly sell blockbuster films. But there's also a more basic reason: talking about high-school students having sex, using condoms or contracting STDs still makes many people a little bit squeamish and embarrassed. Although the vast majority of parents say they talk to their kids about delaying sex and contraceptive use, most are still uncomfortable with the subject. Eighty-two percent of parents and two thirds of teens say that they don't know exactly what to say, how to say it or when to start the conversation, according to the study by the National Campaign.

The article, of course, gave a realistic view of teen motherhood as the young women dealt with ostracism and backlash from their families and communities and could not afford to support the children they had.

What do you think? Do Jamie Lynn and Hollywood have an obligation to discuss the realities of teen motherhood?

Play-Based Versus Academic Preschool

Tue Aug 12, 2008 at 11:02:48 AM PDT

Via ParentDish: Associated Press writer Nancy Zuckerbrod compared the British education system with that of the U.S..

As she learned while visiting kindergarten classrooms in London where her daughter now attends, U.S. children are actually behind their British counterparts in reading because preschools there are academic while ours are play-based.

Like Zuckerbrod, I was amazed at the high standards imposed on four-year-olds about to attend kindergarten in Britain:

Britain has a national curriculum with specific goals, and schools there are rigorously inspected and evaluated. Most kids enter school at 4, instead of 5 as is the case here, and pre-kindergarten programs tend to be more academic than in the United States. American programs are often more play-based than academically structured, and standards vary widely from state-to-state and between public and private settings.

It's not an open-and-shut case as to whether one country's approach is better than another. On a recent international reading test, U.S. fourth-graders and their peers from England had the same results. They weren't all that impressive. Students from the two countries posted lower average scores than students in Russia, Hong Kong, Singapore, Luxembourg, Hungary, Italy and Sweden, along with several Canadian provinces.

In math, kids in the United Kingdom, which includes Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, outperformed their American peers on an international test given to 15-year-olds.

Back on the phone in Washington, I listened as the head teacher suggested sending Olivia back to a "nursery school," to a reception class, generally the British version of pre-kindergarten. But Olivia is turning 6 this fall. We were being asked to put her with kids much closer in age to her 3 1/2-year-old brother than herself. That was not something she would swallow easily, and should we?

An e-mail from the school followed. It politely spelled out exactly what the kids in that school were expected to master by Olivia's age: telling time; fractions - whole, half, quarter and thirds; counting by fives up to 50; reading books (something called the pink new level) and starting to write "news" independently.

I thought about Olivia's school experience over the last year. She planted basil seeds with her beloved pre-k teacher. She learned all about insects, drew a fantastic picture of Saturn, and she definitely mastered the monkey bars.

But she does not know how to tell time, isn't reading books on her own, and fractions - even American kids in older grades, well into middle and high school, are having trouble with those, according to a recent federal report.

Olivia is now attending a British public school and not the snooty private one that sent her mom the e-mail. Even then, she lags her peers in reading and writing.

What do you think? Is this something the U.S. should worry about?

Tuesday Open Thread

Tue Aug 12, 2008 at 04:55:58 AM PDT

What's up with our fellow beings in the blogosphere?

Check out Dana's Olympic coverage at Mombian. Did you see Dara Torres in the relay? Oh. My. God. Torres, 41, is a mom who competed against women half her age. She rocked, getting her team the silver as the all important fourth leg of the race. I am still in awe...

A parent at the Anti-Racist Parent blog brought up an interesting conundrum: An associated pastor at her church asked whether her baby, who was adopted from Haiti, had HIV. Considering that he never asked about the HIV status of any of the white children at the church nursery -- hence why the letter made its way to ARP-- the mother responded with a curt letter, in which she let the pastor know it was illegal to ask people about their HIV status. She then switched churches. What would you have done in this mom's shoes?

The American Idol runner-ups who had babies via Celebrity Baby Blog: Clay Aiken (Season 2) had a son, Parker Foster Aiken, on Friday. Bo Bice (Season 4), had a second son, Caleb James, on Tuesday.

In other celebrity news, Strollerderby gave a shout-out to six rock-solid Hollywood marriages that have endured all the pressures of fame. The blog gave them a mention in light of Bernie Mac's untimely death. He was married to his wife Rhonda for 30 years. Awesome.

Stefania Pomponi Butler, aka "CityMama" and former John Edwards supporter who helped start Momocrats, jumped on the angry bandwagon in regards to Edwards's affair. In somewhat related news, Momocrats is raising money to send some moms to Denver to cover the Democratic National Convention. We won't be sending anyone, but could use some content our way. Let's show them some love, MotherTalkers.

Cookie magazine has an article on successful "mompreneurs." Looking for ideas on how to work from home? Check it out! I actually ordered one of the slimming shirts mentioned in the article. I will review it when I receive it.

Edgy Mama wrote an excellent article about Charla Muller who wrote a controversial book titled 365 Nights about having sex with her husband every night for a year.

Via Feministing: Dozens of breastfeeding moms nursed at a Vancouver H&M store to protest a store clerk's request that a mom breastfeed out of view in a changing room, according to The Canadian Press.

Thank you, Stacey, for this terrific story -- and pics! -- of Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee, who just had a baby boy named Fletcher. You can read all about it on Stacey's blog Fussbucket.

Men More Likely to Adopt Than Women

Mon Aug 11, 2008 at 03:35:14 PM PDT

Here is one more article I want to highlight in MSN Health & Fitness. Men ages 18 to 44 are more likely than women in the same age group to adopt children, probably because they adopt their spouse's children from previous relationships, according to a report released by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The report, which used data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth, showed that more than 1.2 million men of that age group and 613,000 women had adopted children. The reasons for the disparity were not explored in the report, but the authors speculated that it may be partly due to men getting married and adopting their spouse's children from a previous relationship.

Other findings in the report:

• Among people who've ever been married, men were more than 2.5 times as likely as women to have adopted -- 3.8 percent vs. 1.4 percent. Overall, 2.3 percent of all men had adopted a child.
• More than one in four women ages 40 to 44 who had ever used infertility services had adopted a child.
• Never-married adults ages 18 to 44 were significantly less likely to have adopted a child compared to those who were currently married. About 100,000 never-married women and 73,000 never-married men had adopted a child.
• Compared with non-Hispanic white women, Hispanic and non-Hispanic black women were more likely to be currently seeking to adopt a child.

Myths Surrounding Popular Health Advice

Mon Aug 11, 2008 at 11:27:30 AM PDT

Thanks to well-intentioned but uninformed family members and chain e-mails, there is a lot of misinformation surrounding health advice like the "5-second rule" and cell phone use around medical equipment. A column in MSN Health and Fitness recently set the record straight on some of the most popular "old wives' tales" out there:

Cell phones are dangerous to use in hospitals because they can interfere with medical equipment.

Verdict: JURY'S OUT.

There's a chance that a cell phone call in the wrong spot can cause ventilators, syringe pumps, or even pacemakers to pulse incorrectly, according to a 2007 Dutch study....

It's safe to follow "the five second rule" for food dropped on the floor.

Verdict: FICTION.

It's probably not even safe to follow a one-second rule: The transfer of bacteria from a contaminated surface to food is almost instantaneous—or, at the very least, quicker than your reflexes. In a recent study, Clemson University food scientist Paul Dawson, Ph.D., and students contaminated several surfaces (ceramic tile, wood flooring, and carpet) with Salmonella. They then dropped pieces of bologna and slices of bread on the surfaces for as little as five seconds and as long as 60 seconds. After just five seconds, both food types had already picked up as many as 1,800 bacteria (more bad bugs adhered to the moisture-rich bologna than the bread); after a full minute, it was up to 10 times that amount.

MSN added that "double dipping" does indeed spread germs from one chip to another. Onto more well-known unsolicited health advice:

Got Breast Milk?

Mon Aug 11, 2008 at 08:31:41 AM PDT

We recently had a diary about a breast milk mix-up at daycare. (Thank you, upstatemom!)

Then I spotted this article in Parenting. Apparently, it is en vogue to "milk share," meaning mothers informally share each other's milk, benefiting especially those who cannot nurse.

In addition to exchanging expressed breast milk, some moms skip the bottle and cross-nurse, splitting breastfeeding duties with another woman and her baby. Cross-nursers say they enjoy the flexibility as well as the four-way bonding that occurs between the moms and their children. And some moms go as far as hiring a wet nurse -- a woman paid to breastfeed another child -- when they can't perform the task themselves. Informal sharing is naturally more controversial, but a significant number of moms are open to the idea. According to a nationally representative Babytalk survey on momconnection.com, 40 percent had either a positive response ("beautiful!") or a neutral reaction ("each to her own") when asked how they felt about milk sharing.

Yet the majority of the medical community warns against it. "We support breastfeeding, but if you can't nurse, we recommend breast milk from a milk bank, or that you use formula," says Ari Brown, M.D., a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and author of Baby 411. "Even if you have a good friend who wants to donate milk, you can't guarantee that it's free of infections, like HIV. Breast milk is a bodily fluid, just like blood. Would you be willing to give your baby a blood transfusion without first having it tested?"

Bosom Buddies
Why, then, do women potentially risk their little ones' well-being by engaging in informal milk sharing? For starters, the word is out that breast is best: Almost 75 percent of new moms leave the hospital breastfeeding their newborns, and some women are wedded to providing breast milk, even if it's not their own. There's also the issue of supply and demand. A doctor's prescription is required to purchase banked milk, so most of the precious fluid goes to babies with medical needs -- it's not always available to moms with low milk production or adoptive families. Then there's the whopping price tag: Milk banks charge as much as $5 an ounce, and while some insurance plans will cover a percentage of the cost, others don't.

The famous Dr. William Sears actually encourages milk sharing and even sought out donations from friends in his pediatric practice when his adoptive daughter Lauren arrived.

"This is not a back-to-nature, hippie-type movement," he insists. "It's what savvy moms who know the science are doing to ensure that their baby is getting the best.

"When our daughter Lauren arrived, all I could think was, 'She shouldn't be deprived of breast milk just because she's adopted,'" he recalls. Dr. Sears and his wife were no strangers to milk sharing. Prior to Lauren, Martha Sears had occasionally cross-nursed another daughter, Erin, with a mom friend and her son.


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